This morning I spent one of my ten-to-fifteen minutes of “upright” time out brushing Dharla. Good grief, her hair has let loose! Even though I went out to the barn every day last week I was only out long enough to give the horses some mid-day hay. I couldn’t be out any longer than that and besides, I was in too much pain and my vision was too compromised to be around the horses. Hard to imagine, but even with horses that I trust I can’t take the chance that I might get bumped into. I feel frail and vulnerable, which is not a place I’m used to being.

Still, I miss Dharla. I know as the weather warms up I’m really going to start itching to ride. I so hope I don’t end up totally regretting having this surgery and missing the entire spring. Well, I (more or less) already do regret it, but I’m still holding out hope that it doesn’t turn out to be a complete and total miserable failure. God, if I have to go through this again I’ll just shoot myself. I don’t think I can bear it.

Not much else to say, when every hour of every day is identical. I lay here and wonder if the world will ever look the same again?

8 thoughts on “Shedding

  1. Glad you got to go spend some time with your girl.
    I can’t go near a horse right now without getting covered in hair. It seems like they’ve been shedding for a month now, but now they are really letting it fly.
    Take care of yourself so you heal well from the, uh, glitch.

    • I (usually) enjoy cleaning up the horses every spring. I get a sense of satisfaction from it. But for now I’m not allowed t spend much time with them, so they’re on their own! I see there are several hairy patches on the ground where they’ve rolled, so I’m sure the job will eventually get done …. one way or another!

  2. Hang on in there …. that is such a cute pic of Dharla, I’m sure she understands about your pain and vulnerability, you’ve been developing such empathy. (Btw many thanks for your previous garden compliments – not deserved – I would love to grow monarda like yours, my attempts have been blighted by mildew.) It’s not a great time of year for a rider or gardener to be out of action, but I hope you’ve got some good audio books, or podcasts even, to distract you a bit as some of the curtales commenters suggested. Still sending positive thoughts and good wishes! ….

    • Thanks for the encouragement! I’m staying somewhat occupied for now, but thank goodness my years of living with a back disability has already taught me how to live a less frenzied life. I’ve learned how to let a lot of things go. That said, I’m missing being out in my gardens as they’re starting to emerge. Soon, hopefully!

  3. Take your cue from Dharla, and start shedding things from yourself. Use this time as an opportunity for renewal, and that always entails letting go of the old first. The unseen stuff.
    You’re strong, hang in there, it’s just another dark night, and you’ll ‘see’ your way clear.♥

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